So you’re on a date. One person pays for dinner, maybe a show on the Strip. At night’s end, the payer might expect something in return. Is that so much different than sugar dating?
Sugar dating, where someone wealthier pays the bills as part of a relationship or arrangement with someone younger, isn’t that uncommon. The website Seeking.com boasts over 40 million users in more than 100 countries. It’s popularity, experts say, is partly due to how lucrative the arrangements can be for both parties.
“For sugar babies, I think it's pretty obvious — there's financial gain,” said Kimberly De La Cruz, a public relations professional who used to represent Seeking.com. “Most of the women that I knew at my time at Seeking, they had their bills paid, they had experiences that they otherwise wouldn't have as a young person who maybe had an entry-level job or was just at a college. They could never afford to have a five-star meal or travel. And then I think on the other side, for the sugar daddies and sugar mommies, they get to have companionship with somebody who is probably a lot younger, attractive, a good conversationalist, and is really interested in having time with them.”
And with Las Vegas being one of the top tourist destinations in the world, many of those 40 million users are here.
“This particular aspect of the local sexual economy is just really seamlessly woven into the everyday life that people might live,” said Lynn Comella, chair of UNLV’s Interdisciplinary Gender and Ethnic Studies Department, who’s working with Special Collections Director Sarah Quigley to launch the university’s new special collection, Sexual Entertainment and Economies, in January. The collection, which focuses on the sex industry, will also include sugar dating.
Unsurprisingly, there are also voices and organizations that are critical of the practice of sugaring. Haley McNamara, vice president of strategy and communications for the National Center on Sexual Exploitation, says sugar dating is particularly harmful because of how innocuous it’s made to seem.
“One of the things that makes sugar dating particularly so dangerous,” McNamara said, “is that it intentionally markets to women who typically have never engaged in the sex trade before, such as marketing to college students as a means to pay off student loans. That was a whole ad campaign done by Seeking. And it's really dedicated to convincing women that sugaring ‘is not prostitution,’ while at the same time it's signaling to the male sex buyers that it is and that they can pay for an exchange of sex.”
Those familiar with the industry concede that it’s for everyone.
“It's a very specific person that can go on sugaring, and come out of it on the other side, still feeling like they hold power,” said Nicole Minton, who reported on sugaring for Desert Companion magazine. “Still feeling like they did, in fact, benefit the same way that a sugar parent would.”
Yet, Minton says many sugar babies also view sugaring as a practical approach to an already dangerous dating world.
“Something that came up with both of these interviews,” said Minton, “was men are looking at us anyways, and men are seeking ways to harm us regardless. So why not try to benefit from it in a way that can feel a little bit more stable and a little bit more safe, since … there's so much more open communication and transparency that goes into this sort of arrangement.”
Guests: Lynn Comella, chair, UNLV’s Interdisciplinary Gender and Ethnic Studies Department; Sarah Quigley, director, UNLV's Special Collections and Archives; Kimberly De La Cruz, public relations professional and former representative, Seeking.com; Nicole Minton, writer, Desert Companion magazine; Haley McNamara, vice president of strategy and communications, National Center on Sexual Exploitation
