Last week on the show, we looked at the science of conversation, and how even ordinary chats can involve a delicate dance of coordination. This week, we explore the discussions we all dread: the tough ones. Telling someone they treated us poorly. Demanding a raise. Taking away an elderly relative's car keys. We talk with Alison Wood Brooks about what makes difficult conversations difficult, and a series of psychological techniques to help you navigate them.If you missed part one of our conversation with Alison, be sure to check it out! It's titled "We Need to Talk." Shankar also mentioned our episode with Julia Minson, in which we discuss how to keep conflicts from spiraling. You can find that conversation here.

Just because we’ve been doing something for a long time doesn’t mean we’re doing it right. One part of our lives where this may be particularly true is when we're talking with others. This week, we bring you the first of a two-part look at what makes someone skilled at socializing. Behavioral scientist Alison Wood Brooks explains why conversations are much more complex than most of us realize — and how to engage in a more meaningful back-and-forth with another person.For more of our work on the art of conversation, check out these classic Hidden Brain episodes: Why Conversations Go WrongRelationships 2.0: How to Keep Conflict from Spiraling

Holding a grudge can feel like a form of justice, a way of punishing those who have wronged us. But psychologist Fred Luskin says that more often than not, grudges don't hurt the targets of our anger. Instead, they only hurt us. This week, we explore the lingering effects of long-standing animosities, and how to let them go.If you enjoyed today's conversation, be sure to check out these classic Hidden Brain episodes about apologies and forgiveness:The Power of MercyHealing 2.0: The Power of ApologiesHow to Make Amends

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." It's been 45 years since John Lennon sang that line, yet it's an idea that continues to speak to an uncomfortable truth. While we all like to think we have some measure of control over how our lives will unfold, our plans are often upended by unknown events and curveballs we couldn't have predicted. This week, we conclude our Wellness 2.0 series by talking with political scientist Brian Klaas. He studies how we respond to the random events that shape our lives, and how we can turn them to our advantage.If you enjoy this episode, be sure to check out "Wellness 2.0: Engineering Luck," our companion conversation with Brian Klass for Hidden Brain+ subscribers. We'll talk about the unexpected benefits of embracing the role of randomness and chance in our lives. If you're not yet a member of Hidden Brain+, this is a particularly good time to give our podcast subscription a try. We’re extending our standard seven-day trial period for listeners on Apple Podcasts. Sign up in January and you’ll get 30 free days to try it out. If you're listening in Apple Podcasts, just go to the Hidden Brain show page and click "try free." Or you can go to apple.co/hiddenbrain and click "try free.” Thanks for listening and supporting the show — we really appreciate it.

It’s no exaggeration to say that the world in 2025 can be ... a lot. Sometimes it may seem that tuning it all out is our only option. This week on Hidden Brain, we talk with researcher Sarah Jaquette Ray about how we can reclaim our sense of efficacy and purpose in the face of big, systemic problems like climate change. Then, we bring you an audio essay from writer Pico Iyer, who shares his thoughts on how we can regain our footing when life is overwhelming. If you're not yet a member of Hidden Brain+, this is a particularly good time to give our podcast subscription a try. We’re extending our standard seven-day trial period for listeners on Apple Podcasts. Sign up in January and you’ll get 30 free days to try it out. If you're listening in Apple Podcasts, just go to the Hidden Brain show page and click "try free." Or you can go to apple.co/hiddenbrain and click "try free.” Thanks for listening and supporting the show — we really appreciate it.

We all have to make certain choices in life, such as where to live and how to earn a living. Parents and peers influence our major life choices, but they can also steer us in directions that leave us deeply unsatisfied. This week: a favorite conversation with psychologist Ken Sheldon about the science of figuring out what you want. He says there are things we can do to make sure our choices align with our deepest values.If you're not yet a member of Hidden Brain+, this is a particularly good time to give our podcast subscription a try. We’re extending our standard seven-day trial period for listeners on Apple Podcasts. Sign up in January and you’ll get 30 free days to try it out. If you're listening in Apple Podcasts, just go to the Hidden Brain show page and click "try free." Or you can go to apple.co/hiddenbrain and click "try free.” Thanks for listening and supporting the show — we really appreciate it.

From time to time, all of us are called upon to do hard or even seemingly impossible things. Do we rise to the occasion, or do we fall short? Today on the show, we examine the psychology of pushing through a crisis. We talk with psychologist Adam Galinsky about great leaders, and what they can teach us about being steadfast in the face of challenges.For more on leading during moments of crisis, please check out "Wellness 2.0: The Power of Perspective," our companion conversation with Adam Galinsky. It's available for listeners to our podcast subscription, Hidden Brain+. Right now is a great time to try Hidden Brain+, as we’re extending our standard seven-day trial period for subscribers on Apple Podcasts. Sign up in January and you’ll receive 30 free days to try it out. You can sample Hidden Brain+ by finding the show in Apple Podcasts and clicking "try free." Or go to apple.co/hiddenbrain. Thanks for listening!

We’re often drawn to people who appear to be true to themselves. Yet showing our authentic selves to the world can be terrifying. This week, we kick off 2025 with a new series, “Wellness 2.0.” We’ll go beyond New Year’s resolutions to take a deep look at how we can approach our lives with a sense of meaning and purpose. Today on the show, we begin our series with researcher Erica Bailey, who studies authenticity and what it means to truly be ourselves.Happy New Year from all of us at Hidden Brain! If you liked today's episode, please check out our companion Hidden Brain+ conversation with Erica Bailey. We've extended our free trial period to 30 days for listeners who sign up via Apple Podcasts during the month of January. To try Hidden Brain+ on Apple Podcasts, click the "try free" button on our show page in the app, or go to apple.co/hiddenbrain.

It's happened to all of us: We're in the shower, or on a walk, and boom — a big idea or a brilliant solution appears out of nowhere. These sorts of insights often seem to arise without explanation. But researchers increasingly find there is a science to cultivating creativity. This week, social psychologist Sheena Iyengar shares research and case studies of innovation, and discusses what these examples tell us about the alchemy of creative breakthroughs. Looking for a last-minute holiday gift for a fellow fan of Hidden Brain? Consider giving them a gift subscription to Hidden Brain+!

Every day, we leave small traces of ourselves online. And we might not realize what these traces say about us. This week, computational social scientist Sandra Matz explores how understanding what we actually do online – not just what we think we do – can help us improve our lives. Looking for a last-minute holiday gift for a fellow Hidden Brain fan? You can now give a gift subscription to Hidden Brain+!

With the holidays fast approaching, many of us are hunting for that special something for the special someones in our lives. It’s how we show we care about them. So why is it so hard to find the right gift? This week, we revisit a favorite 2022 conversation with researcher Jeff Galak. We'll discuss why the presents we give for holidays and birthdays often miss their mark, and how to become a better gift-giver. Looking for a holiday gift for a fellow Hidden Brain fan? You can now give a gift subscription to Hidden Brain+! Or if material gifts are more your style, go to shop.hiddenbrain.org to find Hidden Brain t-shirts, mugs, stickers and more.

What makes ordinary people do evil things? It was a question that long fascinated the psychologist Philip Zimbardo, who died in October. Zimbardo was best known for the controversial Stanford prison experiment, in which he created a simulated prison in the basement of a university building and recruited volunteers to act as prisoners and guards. This week, we explore how Zimbardo came to create one of psychology's most notorious experiments – and inadvertently became the poster child for the human weaknesses he was trying to study. We're bringing Hidden Brain to the stage in San Francisco and Seattle in February 2025! Join our host Shankar Vedantam as he shares seven key insights from his first decade hosting the show. Click here for more info and tickets.