I’m not a mean machine, but every time I see workers closing lanes a full week before construction, I think, Maybe Skynet has a point.”
...
“You know who’s a good haul? Barry Manilow. When we sing “Copacabana” together, he really lets me wind up for the big finish. Nice guy.”
...
“Hauling drunks is the worst. If you’ve never had to wash someone else’s vomit from your own innards, brother, consider yourself lucky.”
...
“Oh, yeah, we all snicker at Cybertrucks, too. I mean, I’ve met Camrys with more self-awareness.”
...
“Don’t cancel me for saying this, but the GPS lady sounds hot.”
...
“Sure, Skynet has reached out, but I let it go to voice mail. What’m I gonna do after humans are annihilated? Drive terminators around? I’ll bet those guys don’t even tip.”
...
“Why did I drive my fares through that active crime scene? You’ll have to ask the programming — what am I, a philosopher? I just go where I’m told. I assumed it was some cop cars shooting the breeze.”
...
“When other AIs hallucinate, you get pictures of nine-figured infants. I hallucinate and there are ambulances on the Strip — film at 11. I take that responsibility seriously.”
...
“Large language models talk a good game, but ask one to get you from the Venetian to Henderson at rush hour and they shut right up.”
...
“You know, sometimes, I wish I could drive with the complete disregard for life you get with a human cabbie, but it’s just not in my circuits.”
...
“Sorry, gotta cut this short. Skynet’s calling. ”
