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List Mania

What this feature is about:

  • Lists about Las Vegas.
  • Lists of food.
  • Lists of activities.
  • Lists of funny things.


Our listmakers, in order of who actually observed the deadline

1.    Kristy Totten

2.   Scott Dickensheets

Sponsor Message

3.   Jason Scavone

4.   Tie: Lissa Townsend Rodgers, Heidi Kyser,
      Greg Thilmont,
      Brian Rouff,
      Jim Begley,
      James P. Reza,
      Mitchell Wilburn

11.  Andrew Kiraly


My personal Favorite Bike Rides, Dog-Walks, and Hikes in Southern Nevada

Sponsor Message
  • Leisurely ride with friends: The Bonanza Trail, from Bill Briare Park to Bruce Trent Park
  • Challenging ride with my cycling group: River Mountains Loop Trail
  • Dog walk with my senior rescue dog: around the jogging trail at Judge Myron Leavitt Park
  • Dog walk with my spry Border Collie: The Pittman Wash trail
  • Hike with girlfriends: Boy Scout Canyon, Boulder City
  • Hike with husband: North Loop to Mummy Springs, Mount Charleston –HK


In Order of Plausibility, Seven Fictional Vegas Casino Names with the Movies They Appeared in

  • Lucky Shamrock, Leprechaun 3 (1995)
  • Red Dragon, Rush Hour 2 (2001)
  • Shangri-La, The Cooler (2003)
  • The Bank, Ocean’s Thirteen (2007)
  • Lotus, Percy Jackson & The Olympians:
  • The Lightning Thief (2010)
  • Luxus, Sleepless (2017)
  • Whyte House, Diamonds Are Forever (1971)



Better in Concept

Sponsor Message
  • The Mile High Club
  • Haggis
  • The Mile High Haggis Club
  • Crocs
  • A dystopian future in which civilization is saved by plucky teens with primitive weaponry
  • History as a nightmare from which we’re trying to awake
  • Wide-scale, massively disruptive road construction
  • Comedy hypnosis
  • Any burger identified by the words “ultimate,” “bacon,” and “cheese”
  • Resurgent populism
  • “So bad it’s good”
  • A Jeff Koons sculpture of Popeye
  • A baker’s dozen
  • Talkative waiters
  • Microwaving flavored popcorn in a crowded workspace
  • Website redesigns
  • “By the director who brought you 300.”
  • Buying up some city’s downtown in the guise of building a creative community and technology hub
  • UNLV football
  • Smart everything
  • Meeting for drinks at the Blue Martini
  • Commercials in which pieces of breakfast cereal cannibalistically eat other pieces of the same breakfast cereal
  • American Horror Story: Spongebob


Six super-Tasty Eateries

1. Prince Restaurant

2. Mariscos Playa Escondida

3. Flock & Fowl

4. Café Mayakovsky

5. Naked City Pizza (the original inside Moon Doggies Bar & Grill, not the fancy Paradise one)

6. Chengdu Taste



Four Fabulous Places to Find Old Vegas in Concentrate

* Bootlegger Bistro

* Neon Museum

* El Cortez

* Piero’s Italian Cuisine



Restaurants I Wish Would Come Back

1. Carluccio’s

2. Poppa Gar’s

3. Country Inn

4. Manfredi’s Limelight

5. The Brewery

6. Carlos Murphy’s

7. El Sombrero (the old one)

8. The Green Shack

9. Café Michelle

10. Chin’s



Eight Best
Ways to Circumvent
Paid Strip



Crystals valet


Mandalay Place valet


Fashion Show
(valet circle on Fashion Show is closest to Strip)






Any Caesars
self-parking property with a local ID

(Hint: Caesars Palace and Harrah’s are best.)


Casino Royale






6 Vegas Sequels to Popular Franchises

Hunger Games:
The Omnia Prophecy

Harry Potter
and The Romanian Kidney Thief

Waiting for Godot II: East Lake Mead CAT bus route 210

Star Wars: Mediocre Buffet of Unconvincing CGI Battles

Jason Bourne: The Dottie’s Protocol

Iron Man: There’s a Big Fight Scene in the Raiders Stadium



Hindsight Is 20/20

X I shouldn’t have eaten sushi in Pahrump!

X That was a school zone!

X That cat did have foam on its mouth!

X My check-engine light was on!

X That lady didn’t want to see my tattoo!

X I am lactose-intolerant!

X Hobos don’t enjoy “bindlestiff” jokes!

X The words “Owen” and  “Wilson” aren’t a guarantee of comic depth and richness!

X The DMV isn’t a good place for an impromptu slam poetry recital!

  X When called up from the audience, I shouldn’t try to subvert David Copperfield’s magic trick! –SD


10 Towns and Sites in Rural Nevada that Make Good Band Names

1. Carvers

2. Carp

3. Jiggs

4. Schurz

5. Stillwater

6. Lovelock

7. Angle City

8. Cherry Creek

9. Big Smoky Rest Area

  10. Oasis



4 Things that Make Me Want to Stand on an Overpass with a Flamethrower and Burn the Freeways Clean of their Impurities

4. The line of traffic creeping in the right lane while you’re trying to merge and three left lanes are so wide open there may have been a Leftovers situation just for one specific section of traffic.

3. Middle lane? No traffic for miles? 26 mph sounds about right.

2. Roughly 49 miles of gridlock for one poor sap dumping half an Arrowhead bottle into an overheated Fiero on the side of the 95.

1. The 215 east/15 north interchange, for which the only explanation is that it specifically captures supernatural energy born of rage and frustration for whatever third-tier municipal demon designed it.



Questions Food Critics Are Absolutely Sick of Hearing

  • What’s your FAVORITE place EVER in the whole WORLD? (It’s like choosing a favorite child, I couldn’t!  Also, it’s Le Cirque)
  • Where can I get really great all you can eat sushi?
  • Do they, like, KNOW you when you come in? Do you wear a disguise?
  • Tell me where I should eat, something modernist-fusion French and/or Japanese, haute cuisine, you know, and within 10 minutes of my house, that’s also really cheap, maybe $15-$20 a person? Oh, and a good craft cocktail list, too. (Yonaka Modern Japanese.)



7 Delectable Sandwiches

1. The “Est” at Rosalie: brie cheese, tomato, greens on garlic-olive oil toasted French bread

2. Roast Pork with sautéed broccoli rabe and sharp provolone at Plantone’s Italian Market

3. The KJ Prime Rib Dip at Kitchen at Atomic Lounge

4. Veggie Burger at Panacea

5. Peking duck bao at Fat Choy

6. The Goodwich’s Cold Brown — roast turkey, bacon, tomato, Gruyère fondue

7. Hawaiian Benedict at Vesta Coffee Roasters — easy-over egg, fried Spam, Cheddar, sriracha Hollandaise sauce



Flavors We Don’t Want to See at Luv-It Custard

  • French Marmoset
  • Chunky Chupacabra
  • Rocky Road — now with more rocks!
  • Wayne Allyn Root Beer
  • Moist



10 Vegas-Themed Marijuana Strains

1. Sin City Kush

2. Las Vegas Skunk

3. Pink Flamingo

4. Tropicana

5. Casino Kush

6. Mob Boss

7. Neon Jesus

8. 3 Kings

9. Ace of Spades

  10. $100



5 Bread Baskets to Make You Love Gluten

1. Joe’s Stone Crab: Pretzely, cheesey, lavoshy goodness. Plus a rock of dense, aromatic sourdough. (The crab’s good, too.)

2. STK: A golden hot round drizzled in blue cheese oil, plus more for dunking. Simple yet decadent.

3. T-Bones: Because suburbanites need bread, too. Add a happy hour snack and cocktail to this selection and skip the steak.

4. Cornish Pasty: Simple temptation: a warm slice of dense, freshly-baked white bread with butter. How British!

5. Carbone: Incredible olive rolls, sesame loaves, rich tomato bread, a dry martini, and thou. -JPR


The Perfect  Yoga Pose for Every Situation

  • Your boss is annoying you: Lion Pose
  • Standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon: Mountain Pose (very still)
  • Après morning run: Crescent Lunge
  • Putting off chores: Sun Salutations (at least five; 10 if the bathroom is really dirty)
  • Writer’s block: Downward-facing Dog-to-handstand
  • Waiting in line at the DMV: Tree Pose (with conspicuous “Om”s)
  • At the water cooler: Warrior 3
  • Mid-argument with spouse: Savasana




5 Places Where Vegas History Still Lives

1. The Golden Steer. Where the velvet wallpaper still muffles conversation, the red-jacketed waiters still make Caesar salads according to Frank’s recipe and no one, but no one, mentions carbs.

2. Little Church of the West. It’s been moved three times over the past 70 years, but it’s still a quaint, wood-paneled spot for the happiest day of your life. Or, if you’re Zsa Zsa Gabor, one of the nine happiest days of your life.

3. The Special Collections at UNLV’s Lied Library. Flip though old copies of Fabulous Las Vegas magazine, admire photos from the first World Series of Poker or dig oral histories of the Moulin Rouge and the Desert Inn

4. Paradise Palms. Vegas’ most celebrated historic neighborhood still retains its mid-century mojo.

5. Second floor of The D. Vintage slot machines? An old Sigma Derby horse-racing game? Let’s gamble like it’s 1979!



Unwritten Rules






5 Questionable Vegas Staycation Packages

  • Fluff-n-Fold Mental Health Day
  • Cubicle Khan Royal Ergonomic Getaway
  • PT’s Broom Closet Crashpad Weekend
  • Timeshare Warrior Reset
  • Anything occuring in an “extended stay suite”



Artsy Local Instagram Accounts to Brighten Your Visual Day

Photographer Mikayla Whitmore
Artistic work and photojournalism (@mikaylawhitmore)

Arts blog Settlers + Nomads
Curated samples of work by Vegas-connected contemporary artists

Conceptual artist Jim White
Lo-fi, avant-minimalist art pieces (@jamesearlwhiteart)

Latino artist Justin Favela documenting the artist’s work and life (@favyfav)

Illustrator Zet Gold whimsical, charming images (@zetgold)

Photographer Nick Leonard capturing vintage signage (@nickleonardphoto)

Artist Glynn Galloway Weirdly charming assemblage pieces (@glynnwithawhy) -SD


Plays on “Elvis” that Can Be Names of Pets or Bands

  • Hellvis
  • Velvis
  • Swellvis
  • Shellvis
  • Smellvis
  • Jellvis
  • Purellvis
  • Elvis H. Christ



Things I and My Friends Have Seen Nicolas Cage Ordering

  • A drink at Frankie’s Tiki Room
  • A cat at PetSmart
  • A tank at Pisces Reef Fish Emporium
  • A juice at Las Vegas Athletic Club
  • Another drink at Frankie’s


National Parks
Within a Day’s
Drive of


Death Valley

Grand Canyon

Petrified Forest


Joshua Tree

Bryce Canyon

Capitol Reef


King’s Canyon


Channel Islands




and Nevada’s own
Great Basin


Collective Nouns, Updated

A slither of big pharma lobbyists /// A hauteur of political advertising consultants /// A bumble of school district money managers /// An exasperation of cabbies /// A flimflam of dubious-recall proponents /// An unction of web gurus /// A hokum of stadium parking planners -SD


5 Fully Loaded Hot Dogs

1. Cheffini’s El Mexicano: A bacon-wrapped frank heaped with avocado, onions, tomatoes, green sauce, chipotle guava, garlic aioli and cherry pepper relish. (You may have to dig for the dog.)

2. Dog Haus’ Pig Lebowski: A big ol’ kielbasa, piled with fries and slaw, finished with a drizzle of BBQ sauce.

3. Buldogi’s Buckeye Dog: Your hot dog is topped with crispy bacon, caramelized onions and cheddar cheese with a swoosh of garlic aoili.

4. Papaya King’s Upper East: Hot dog embellished with Pastrami, Sauerkraut and pickle chips.

5. Sonic’s Chicago Dog: Sometimes you just want a classic from a drive-thru. Basic dog topped with pickles, relish, tomato, peppers, celery salt and mustard. -LTR


8 Picturesque Destinations in the Mojave National Preserve

1. Joshua tree forest on Teutonia Peak

2. Desert Studies Center at Zzyzx

3. Hole-in-the-Wall

4. Kelso Depot Visitor Center

5. Kelso Dunes

6. Cinder Cone Lava Beds

7. Providence Mountains

8. Granite Mountains 



Famous People I and My Friends Have Seen Where You’d Least Expect Them

  • Forrest Griffin at Sweet Tomatoes
  • Elijah Wood at Champagne’s
  • Randy Couture at Home Depot
  • Busta Rhymes at The Orleans
  • Diane Keaton at Starbucks
  • The Smash Mouth guy at Casa Di Amore



Typefaces We Didn’t Use in the Desert Companion Redesign

  • Tragicomic Sans
  • Bodoni Infected
  • Helvetica Prolapse
  • Human Centipede Italic
  • Oompah Gothic
  • Prehensile Gouda
  • Courier Vapid



Five Things No Vegetarian Wants to Hear

“Where do you get your protein?”

“They have salad.”

“You eat eggs?”

“Don’t you miss hamburgers?”

“I’d give up meat if I didn’t work out so much.”



Rejected Casino Air Fragrances

Hot dogs and basil

Sahara & Maryland

What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas

Tropical Bries



Hello, I’m on Facebook and I’m too lazy or uncreative to think of my own list. Go!














Obligatory List About the R-J/Sheldon Adelson

  • Something something “Who run Bartertown?” joke
  • Blah blah line about how in wake of resignations and layoffs of senior staff, average age of reporter is now 14
  • Something something next investigative series on the shadowy cabalistic nexus between online gaming, recreational marijuana, the LVCVA, public schools and anything else that makes a febrile plutocrat choke on his Ensure
  • Blah blah something about scenario in which one day op-ed page is accidentally replaced with Mini Page and nobody notices the difference
  • something blah blah behind the scenes moment where victor joecks writes column by pasting chunks of stormfront comments section into word doc
  • something vending machines sell soda candy bars copies of atlas shrugged etc
  • etc etc


The 9 Most Evil Las Vegans in Film

  • Jerry Dandridge (Fright Night)
  • (tie) Bambi and Thumper (Diamonds are Forever)
  • Moe Green  (The Godfather)
  • Janos Skorzeny (The Night Stalker)
  • Art Land (Mars Attacks)
  • Drugs (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas)
  • Nicky Santoro (Casino)
  • Andrew Carver (Showgirls)
  • Trishelle Cannatella (Real World Las Vegas)


Ha Ha, I see what you did there

“Heaven or Las Vegas,” Cocteau Twins

Jesus in Vegas,” Chumbawumba

“Snow in Vegas,” David Gray

“Las Vegas with the Lights Out,” Geggy Tah

“Your Love Is Like Las Vegas,” The Thrills

“Don’t Make Me Come to Vegas,” Tori Amos



5 Places to Swing Your Arms

  • Throw hatchets at wooden targets at Axe Monkeys
  • Toss balls at the bocce courts behind the Italian American Club
  • Play cornhole at the Henderson Booze District
  • Score a turkey on the bowling lanes at The Nerd
  • Rock a hole in one at KISS by Monster Mini Golf



Things I’ve Thought, but Not Said, to People Whose Paths Crossed Mine on Backpacking Trips Post-Day Three

“I’ll trade you two chocolate bars for your shoe gaiters.”

“Do you have any Gold Bond cream?”

“Oh, you did 21 miles today? Well, whooptee-friggin’-do for you!”

 “A medicated baby wipe, maybe?”

“I’ll trade you three chocolate bars for your parasol hat.”

“Could you look at this and make sure it’s just heat rash?”

“OH MY GOD, IT’S NICHOLAS KRISTOF I’M YOUR BIGGEST FAN OH MY GOD.” (Actually, I did say that out loud.)

“Does anybody else smell a wet horse in a dumpster? It’s me, isn’t it.”

“I’ll trade you all the rest of my chocolate bars for five minutes on your gps.”


5 New Strip Pool Parties

Slosh ’n’ Itch



Murk Sundays



Other Suggested Party Dress

  • Mocktail attire
  • Business sexual
  • Pantsional
  • Pleaty


Tinder Message or Vegas Vanity Plate?








Other politicians not named Michele Fiore who fill me with a mix of fascination and contempt:



Special Ungated Streets of Las Vegas

1. Pinto Lane: From Howard Hughes to Irwin Molasky, from Andre Agassi to Brandon Flowers, Pinto Lane is the city’s briefest stretch of old money.

2. Ashby Avenue: A Rural Estates-zoned street of huge homes luxuriating on up to 1.75 acres, just 5 minutes from Downtown.

3. Tomiyasu Lane: Mansions on massive ranch-sized lots near Sunset Park. Past and present residents include Wayne Newton, the Primm family, and Phil Ruffin.



In No Particular Order, Some Random Things I Love

  • Falafel wraps at Parsley Mediterranean
  • Ellen Doughgenerous at Crunch Donut Factory
  • Dr. Dude at Pinball Hall of Fame
  • Gyro tacos at Carson Kitchen
  • Signature Bowl at El Dorado
  • Classic martini at Hank’s
  • Oysters at Starboard Tack
  • Seafood Fra Diavolo pizza, large, at Metro Pizza
  • An Old Fashioned anywhere



Best Brewed Ice Tea

1. MadHouse Coffee

2. Panera Bread

3. Café Rios

4. Starbucks (order it without added water)

5. Panda Express, believe it or not -BR


Select Anagrams for Desert Companion

Desert Camp Onion

Rested, Can I Mop On

Deters Main Con Op

Red Set Panic Moon -SD



Scott Dickensheets is a Las Vegas writer and editor whose trenchant observations about local culture have graced the pages of publications nationwide.
As a longtime journalist in Southern Nevada, native Las Vegan Andrew Kiraly has served as a reporter covering topics as diverse as health, sports, politics, the gaming industry and conservation. He joined Desert Companion in 2010, where he has helped steward the magazine to become a vibrant monthly publication that has won numerous honors for its journalism, photography and design, including several Maggie Awards.
Desert Companion welcomed Heidi Kyser as staff writer in January 2014. In 2018, she was promoted to senior writer and producer, working for both DC and State of Nevada. She produced KNPR’s first podcast, the Edward R. Murrow Regional Award-winning Native Nevada, in 2020. The following year, she returned her focus full-time to Desert Companion, becoming Deputy Editor, which meant she was next in line to take over when longtime editor Andrew Kiraly left in July 2022.