To swipe or not to swipe? That’s the question for the 80 million Americans using dating apps such as Hinge, Bumble, or Tinder. And the answer matters, at least based on research by Stanford University, showing that more than half of U.S. couples met their partners online in 2020 — a 45-percent uptick since 2000.
But Nevada has some unique challenges, the largest of which is our rate of dating app-related catfishing and violence: According to a 2024 PrivacyJournal study, the state ranks first among the most dangerous states to online-date in.
It’s just one of many reasons young Las Vegans cite for eschewing the apps — besides mental health woes, inauthenticity, and frustration over cost. Desert Companion spoke to three such Zillennials about why they chose to dump the apps (or at least decenter them) last year. And note, we’re using initials only to protect sources’ privacy.
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It always starts like, “Okay, let’s see what’s out there. Why not?” And then telling myself, “It might be a different story this time around.” And, I kid you not, within a matter of days, I’m over it and I end up deleting it again. ... The initial few days on it are really exciting because a lot of girls get on the apps as sort of like an ego boost. ... And then I think it just gets draining really fast.
(As a girl) it’s kind of fun to set up your profile and choose cute pictures of yourself. But I think that’s what started to feel a little, I guess, gross about it, because (I’m) choosing the best ways to show myself to these guys, and I think that in and of itself starts to feel weird.
And that’s what gets draining: Constantly thinking, “Oh, maybe this photo wasn’t good enough or maybe this prompt didn’t quite land with a bunch of people.” It made me start overthinking how I was curating myself.
I would go through my likes, and who would like me, and there wouldn’t be anything after a whole day. And then, meanwhile, I’d be sending out all these likes to (other) people and not really getting anything back. ... Like, why do I have to pay $20 a month or whatever it is (on Hinge) in order to talk to someone? I think our self-esteem kind of takes a hit because it’s like, “Wait, are these the people that I’m attracting?”
I want to meet someone not in a way where I feel like I have to curate myself and have to put on the best version of myself in order to meet them. ... I’m more in the, “When it happens, it happens” (mentality). Because I think I’m always open to it. But, for the first time in a while, I’m not really taking steps to make that happen.
JM, 24, post-graduate student
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A lot of people my age talk about online dating like it’s just a fun, more chill way to meet new people. … (I agree) kind of. It’s really easy and passive — like you don’t have to be actively looking for people. Your profile can just kind of exist out there.
(So) I’ll get a match, and then it’s like, “Okay, here’s my chance.” But then we start talking, and it just doesn’t go anywhere. It’s mostly dry conversations or you get ghosted.
(I’m also) punching up with my looks, to be totally honest. Like, if I were to approach someone at a bar or in class, my personality and sense of humor would shine through immediately. And I know that. With online dating, it’s appearance first. ... As a normal-looking guy on a dating app, you can go days with no matches. You have to be hot to succeed as a dude. … I don’t do (dating apps) much anymore because (they) make me feel like something’s wrong with me. It sucks.
NP, 29, gig worker and undergraduate student
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I remember going on a date with a guy (from Bumble) a few months ago, and just going, “Why am I doing this to myself?” ... Like, I could be out with my friends right now, meeting these men organically, and actually having fun and living life. Instead of going on a date with a guy who I had no idea if his energy matched mine or not, because I picked him based off of a profile.
I heard someone I follow on Insta say the apps are “like being dehydrated in the middle of the ocean” — or something to that effect. Like there are so many men out there, but actually not that many quality ones. ... So, I’d say the mental-health impacts (for women) probably come from that, at least partially.
I know people that online dating has worked for. And that’s great, right? … (But) me and my friends are trying to do more in-person stuff, off our phones, like joining different clubs and volunteering. It’s still hard to find someone, since everyone is now so focused on the apps and less open to meeting people in real life. ... And, also, I don’t want to have to tell my future kids I met their dad on the internet.
LE, 25, healthcare worker
