Clean air, pristine national parks, safe water — all aspects of daily life in Nevada that the state’s estimated 22,000 federal workers help to make a reality. When the Trump administration’s mass layoffs began on January 28, however, this work was jeopardized. Unease permeated the state’s federal offices for the two weeks leading up to what’s come to be known as the “Valentine’s Day Massacre,” when, on February 13 and 14, probationary employees around the country (those who’d spent less than a year in their current positions) were suddenly laid off.
Three of those workers shared their stories with Desert Companion: an aquatic ecologist who helps safeguard Lake Mead against invasive organisms, a Fish and Wildlife Service biologist who helps protect endangered species, and a Veterans Affairs technician who makes sure VA healthcare facilities have the supplies they need. All three, who have since been rehired — for now — following a preliminary injunction from a district court judge, recount that day and the weeks surrounding it.
Riley Rackliffe, aquatic ecologist: We (at Lake Mead National Recreation Area ) had anticipation. As January 20 rolled up with a new administration, we knew that that was going to affect us, because we had employees that remembered eight years ago, the last time Trump came into office, and he had a pretty tremendous effect on the Park Service then.
Kaesee Bourne, IPaC biologist for the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service: Everyone was very stressed out. ... An email that really rattled a lot of us was one where they talked about how each agency needed to send in a list of all their probationary employees, and at that time, all of us already assumed they wanted this list so that they could fire all of us, because in the email, they mentioned how easy it was to fire all of us. So, that was a really hard thing to read. But my supervisor and the whole leadership team were saying how they had no intention of getting rid of us. That, if it was up to them, they would keep all of us, because they obviously needed us, which is why they hired us onto these different teams.
So, for the moment, I didn’t feel as afraid of losing my job. Overall, everyone was more so afraid of their work becoming harder, or it being harder for them to save these species, because of changes to important environmental law or because of reduced funding. ... Morale was pretty low most of the time. We wouldn’t even ask how people were during meetings, because we all knew that most people were probably feeling sad or scared.
Mark Wagstaff, retired U.S. Marine Corps sergeant and supply technician for the Department of Veterans Affairs: About two weeks (before Valentine’s Day), this is when the initial “fork in the road” email went out to all federal employees. With this deferred resignation, they were trying to get you to quit your job with the incentive that they paid you throughout the rest of the fiscal year. ... For me, it wasn’t an option, because I’m a career public servant. I love what I do. I uprooted my life to be here (in Las Vegas). So, it was everything to me to stay in a position.
RR: We were getting the resignation emails, the “fork in the road,” where they emailed everyone in the government and said, “Hey, anybody that wants to resign, go ahead and do it.” So, there was a lot of chatter about that. Is this even real? Can we trust it? ... Initially, I looked at the resignation offer and said, “Well, I’d rather have a job. I worked pretty hard to get here — I’m not just going to give it up.” ... But we were a nervous wreck. ... How do you make decisions in the face of uncertainty? There was definitely a sense of dread going into that Friday (the 14th).
MW: I just wanted to just enjoy some time off — it was Valentine’s Day! There was a food festival — the Dream Asia Food Fest — in town. That’s what I was actually going to do. (Around 10 a.m.) I get a phone call from my supervisor on my personal phone. So, at that point I’m like, “Okay, this has got to be urgent, getting a call on my personal phone on my day off.” So, I answered a phone call to my direct line supervisor saying, “Unfortunately, now that the fork in the road is over, these emails came out and they terminated you as an employee of probationary status.” And it cited poor work performance.
KB: I was supposed to be off. I had some other plans that I made (to visit a group of old coworkers). I was driving down the road, I was about to get to my location, and then I saw that my supervisor was calling me on my personal phone (around 8:30 a.m.). There was literally no reason for her to be calling me. And I was like, “I bet you this is it. I bet you this is about to be where she tells me that I don’t work for the service anymore.” So, I pick up the phone, and she goes, “Hey, Kaesee.” And I was like, “Hey, you heard something, didn’t you?” And she took a minute, and I could tell that it was really hard for her to continue talking. And she just said, “Kaesee, I’m so sorry, but we just got notice that we have to get rid of all the probationary employees.”
RR: Since it was a Friday, the technicians were all off. So, the office was relatively quiet. ... I went in, and it was me and my boss and another supervisor. ... We all kind of had (the layoffs) in the back of our mind, checking the news headlines every 20 minutes. But I went through all my work, and then it hit about noon or so, and nothing had happened yet. And I was like, “Okay, well, I’m done for the week. I’m going to go home.” I slipped out to our little laboratory — I have a lab that’s next door to our office — to calibrate some instruments and an incubator. When I came back into the office (around 12:30 p.m.), my boss ran into me and said, “I’m sorry, you got fired.”
MW: (The call) felt really impersonal from the direct line supervisor. ... It was just kind of like, “Read the termination letter that they give you. Godspeed; best of luck in your endeavors.” The part that made it much more frustrating is that they sent the termination paperwork to my work email and work cell phone. I tried to access it that same day, but they had already cut off my access to my government email and my work phone, so I couldn’t see any new messages that were coming in for that day at all. ... And also, how am I being let go for poor work performance (when I had just gotten my appraisal back with all outstanding remarks), but you also tell me I’m being let go for being a probationary employee?
KB: From that point on, (and) I’m really not the type of person who cries in public, but I was bawling so much that I had to pull over off the road and park in a random parking lot so that I could wrap my head around what (my supervisor) had just told me.
RR: The termination notice carbon copied me into it, but they had the wrong email address, so I didn’t actually get it. ... It terminated me because of a lack of fitness to meet the qualifications of the role that I’d been doing for 11 months — I was about 25 days short of meeting my one-year probation.
MW: It was shock, but it was just kind of like, well, that just happened. ... (I told my wife the same day) but I didn’t want to raise her anxiety up. ... I asked her to take more of a hands-off approach with it, like just taking it in stride.
KB: The first person I called was my mom. I don’t call her crying very often, so when she heard me, she was very concerned. I was very sad, but I think me having plans in between all of the sadness definitely helped me to have some happiness during the day. So, when I went to visit my old coworkers, I was obviously still sad, but I was able to laugh with them and have some fun.
RR: I cleaned up my office; canceled any appointments I had on my calendar. It took about two to three hours to kind of tie loose ends up, and I had all this government equipment that I had to return, a little park ranger badge, and a cell phone and credit cards.
KB: Then I went home, and the reality set in a little bit more.
MW: I didn’t really deal with it until that Monday morning, physically walking into the office to turn in my equipment and my badge.
RR: There was a lot of disbelief. It was also kind of crushing. How do you react to that? So, you kind of take your emotions and stick them in a bottle and just say, “I’m going to deal with this later.” All of these little appointments that you had, (you now have to cancel).
KB: Over the next few days, the feelings definitely changed. I was really mad, especially when I was looking on LinkedIn to apply for new jobs. There were some that I was seeing, and I was like, “Ah, this isn’t what I want!” And then I would think, “Okay, what do I want?” And then everything I wanted would be the position that I had with Fish and Wildlife. … I was mad because I had what I wanted: I was 25, I was young, I was already in the federal government, I had health benefits, I had a good-paying job. I finally had a permanent position, and I didn’t have to worry about doing all these seasonal positions and having to apply for jobs all over again. ...
And then there was definitely fear too — fear of not being provided for, because I just lost the money that I was making. I was used to not making a whole lot of money, but with this position, I was super excited, because I thought, “Oh, man, I’m finally making a livable wage! I can finally start saving” … Now I have to go back into survival mode. It wasn’t until about a few weeks ago that I was able to feel less mad, and at that point I was still a little bit sad, but kind of coming to terms with everything. And then (the week of March 3), it was the first time I was able to actually go a day without having any of those negative emotions.
MW: (I’ve been centering) the adapt-and-overcome mentality. ... I know I’m going to be one of those stories to be like, “Well, that happened to me, and it’s unfortunate, but here I am now still standing in my new position, being happy around people who care for me as an individual, as well as (for) my career.”
RR: (In the weeks since), I’ve done a lot of thinking back. Where did I go wrong? Where are the signs that I missed? ... You go through all of the five stages of grief — it’s a roller-coaster. Just like breaking up with somebody, you go through each of those stages, and they’re not sequential. You just kind of bounce back and forth between different stages. One morning, you’re like, “No, I’m ready to move on. This is fine. The world is my oyster! Go get a higher paying job somewhere.” Then the next day, you’re like, “I just want to move away from Nevada and never come back.” You want to hide in a trash can or something, because you feel like you’re worthless.
MW: (I’m concerned, because) I know that there are individuals (still at the VA) pretty much pulling double duty right now to make sure that the veterans and their families have what they need at the local hospital. And (that leads to) fatigue, frustration. You’ll have employees that are burned out.
RR: The biggest thing that we’re losing (right now) is basically the last year of effort in developing staff expertise — that’s all been thrown away, because everybody who was hired in the last year got fired. So, that’s a lot of effort and work on training people and building up resources that’s all been tossed out. I had all these studies lined up and grants that got funded. All that’s getting thrown away. ... But if the government’s going to step down and not maintain our wild places, then who is? I think that means the public has to do it. We have to step up, and we have to take care of these places as citizens, as members of the community, or they will be destroyed.
KB: I’m just really hoping that we’re able to keep the integrity of our systems, or else, I’m not only going to be nervous for the Fish and Wildlife Service, but for the entire environmental field in general. ... We’re not politicians. We’re not people who got into this work because of any type of political agenda. We’re here because we love the animals. We love the plants and their habitats and the waters. And we just want to make sure that these natural resources are something that our kids and our grandkids and great-grandkids are able to experience.
RR: I’m certainly looking at any local (job) options, but I’m kind of a specialist, so I’m also looking all over the country and even in other countries to find a position that will take me. ... (My wife) is a stay-at-home mom (of two young children). ... So, she is also job hunting — we went to a zero-income household.
KB: It’s been a month now, and every single time I pass that spot on the road (where I got the call), which I pass frequently because it’s (the way I drive to get to church), I’m like, “Dang, this is where it happened. This is where I got some of the worst news of my life.
MW: If I could give a title to how I feel (in the weeks since the layoffs): I feel like I served my country, but it’s not serving me.
