Loving yourself means valuing your strengths and having compassion for your shortcomings. Easier said than done.
“Self-care is oftentimes misunderstood as merely ‘pampering,’ like bubble baths and pedicures,” says Nikki Beecher, a licensed marriage and family therapist. But there’s much more to taking care of your mind, body, and soul, as she and other self-care experts will tell you. Here’s some of their advice.
Develop self-care rituals: “Rituals provide a constant in a world that is characterized by change,” says Alyssa Waters, a self-healing integration coach, “and they give us something to lean on when there is nothing to lean on.” While the type of self-care is up to you — meditation, exercise, time in nature — Waters suggests that for it to become a ritual, it “needs to be easy, achievable, and intimate to you.”
Focus on ‘glimmers of joy’: In addition to getting adequate sleep and paying attention to your emotions, Beecher recommends putting “little glimmers of joy in your life.” Think of these glimmers as the opposite of triggers, she says — joyful or peaceful acts such as looking at photos of loved ones, petting your dog, or wrapping yourself in a soft blanket.
Bathe yourself in sound: In her practice, certified sound bath facilitator Namrata Katira has busy, stressed clients lay down as she showers them in tones from crystal bowls, drums, chimes, and other instruments. This is followed by 15 minutes of reflective silence. “We live in a world where we’re bombarded by messages,” Katira says. “If we’re not feeling okay, our tendency is picking up the phone and scrolling.”
Practice mindfulness: Zen master Ji Haeng, abbot and guiding teacher at the Zen Center of Las Vegas, recognizes that achieving mindfulness might seem challenging in a distraction-filled place like Las Vegas. But that’s okay. “The jaws of the lion is a wonderful place to practice,” he says. Ji Haeng suggests calming the breath and mind. “When your mind is deep and calm, you can do deep listening and be 100 percent there. And that’s deep love. With our calm breath, there’s resilience, even in the face of stress.”
Focus on your breath: If Cosmin Mahadev Singh, founder of RYK Yoga and Meditation, were to offer only one piece of self-care advice, it would be to learn how to breathe correctly. “At least 80 percent of the population breathes very shallowly,” he says. By breathing properly, you’re helping to nourish your body and improve mental clarity. Set reminders for yourself. “Get some sticky notes and write, ‘How is my breath?’ Put one in your car, your office, in your kitchen.”
Practice compassion: Shaolin kung fu master Shifu Chang Yuan, from Shaolin Tai Chi Heritage Center, says, “One of the ways to achieve happiness is to ‘donate your smile.’ Step into others’ shoes and be helpful to other people.” He also recommends tuning into your body and says you don’t need a formal meditation practice to do so: “Washing dishes or walking can be a meditation.”
Take some quiet time: “Self-love comes first before you can do anything else in the world,” says Tammy Gaboyan, chief operating officer of The Salt Room. During busy days, Gaboyan meditates in a salt room. The Himalayan salt in the air has negative ions that can help reduce stress and inflammation, she says. If you can’t get to a salt room, Gaboyan recommends, set aside time each day to sit in a quiet space.“It’s so important to just connect with yourself.”