To hell with swimsuit season — hand me a cinnamon bun. My abs are a lost cause, anyway, so I'll take one of these gooey, customized, vegan delights from Cinnaholic (as seen on Shark Tank). (Yeah, it's a chain joint; just deal.) The buns are perfectly doughy, the frostings rich, but not (unlike typical mall buns) sickeningly sweet, the toppings fresh. With some 40 frostings and toppings, the possible flavor combinations are, like, something to the somethingth power; you do the math while I eat. Okay, sure, the health benefits that the internet says I derive from cinnamon — antioxidants, for example — are probably muted somewhat when the cinnamon is delivered in bun form. Whatever, it's delicious. And, here in our end-of-empire twilight, a person should invest heavily in small pleasures as a hedge against the large unpleasantries that face us all. So don't tell me I should diet — I should diet, and would it hurt me to exercise? Actually, yes, probably a lot. Still, I ought to. And maybe I will. But not before I finish this bun.