T'was the night before Christmas, and all o'er the house
Stirred the clicking - most frantic - of every mouse
All the stockings were hung by the TV with flair
But children played on apps in their rooms without care
Sneaking smart-phones and laptops right into their beds
While visions of going viral danced in their heads
When out on the street there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter
When what to my wandering eyes did appear
An electric sleigh, without any reindeer
"Self-driving" said the driver, so lively and quick
I knew from his TikToks it must be St. Nick
"I don't strew CO2," he said, "on glaciers and meadows
So my polar bear friends can hang onto their ice floes."
He had a snow-white goatee, and six-pack of a belly
"I just couldn't go on like a bowl full of jelly.
Now I eat fruits and veggies, meditate, and do yoga
And don't just watch e-sports—Elf Sports--on the sofa."
And after our chitchat he went straight to work,
And filled all the stockings with candies and merch
Then laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, he told me, "Lord knows
2020's been filled with sorrow and stresses
With Covid, job loss, and protesting injustice.
Santa sprang to his sleigh, to the sky gave a whistle
And his autonomous vehicle took off like a missile
But I heard him exclaim, as he zipped out of sight,
"Look out for each other! And to all, a good night!"
You won’t find a paywall here. Come as often as you like — we’re not counting. You’ve found a like-minded tribe that cherishes what a free press stands for. If you can spend another couple of minutes making a pledge of as little as $5, you’ll feel like a superhero defending democracy for less than the cost of a month of Netflix.