NEW YORK STEAK EXPERIENCE
ON A RECENT TRIP TO NEW YORK, I DISCOVERED TWO THINGS: ONE WAS THAT NEW YORK STEAKHOUSES ARE BETTER AND CHEAPER THERE THAN HERE; THE OTHER WAS THAT GIVING AWAY FOOD IS NOT AS EASY AS IT USED TO BE, NO MATTER WHAT THE QUALITY.
AS I LEFT GALLAGHER’S AND WANDERED INTO THE NEW YORK CITY NIGHT, I WAS LOADED WITH LEFTOVERS, PRIME STEAK, IRISH POTATOES AND BARELY EATEN (BUT DELICIOUSLY-CHEESEY) CHEESECAKE FILLED MY DOGGY BAG. JUST AS THOUGHTS OF GASTRONOMIC BENEVOLENCE (AND LIBERAL GUILT) FILLED MY HEAD, I DECIDED TO GIVE AWAY MY PRIME BOUNTY TO THE FIRST HOMELESS PERSON I SAW. YES, I WOULD DO MY PART FOR THE UNWASHED AND UNDERFED AND STRIKE A BLOW FOR UNDERAPPRECIATED AND OVERFED RESTAURANTS CRITICS EVERYWHERE. EASY AS PIE, I THOUGHT. JUST HAND THE BAG TO THE NEXT SCHIZOPHRENIC SAD SACK THAT ASKS ME FOR MONEY, AND EVEN IF NO OUT OF WORK ACTORS WERE AROUND, SOME STREET PERSON WAS SURE TO SOON EAT THE BEST MEAL OF THEIR LIFE.
TROUBLE WAS I COULDN’T FIND ANY. NOT ONE. AND WE’RE TALKING NEW YORK CITY HERE. IN CONTRAST, WHEN IT COMES TO HOBOS OUR VERY OWN DOWNTOWN TRANSPORTATION CENTER LOOKS LIKE THE ROSE BOWL ON NEW YEARS DAY, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I REGRETTED THE ABSENCE OF THOSE WHO SPEAK BETTER WITH THEMSELVES THAN WITH OTHERS.
SUDDENLY SOMEONE WAS SPEAKING TO ME. YOU LOST? CAME A VOICE FROM INSIDE THE FIRST CARDBOARD SHELTER I HAD SEEN IN AN HOUR. I ASKED IF HE WAS HUNGRY FOR A STEAK AND SOME IRISH POTATOES? “DON’T I LOOK IRISH?” WAS HIS LAUGHING ANSWER. HE WAS ANYTHING BUT. I HANDED HIM THE BAG AND COULD STILL HEAR HIS THANKS AS I DUCKED INTO PALM, ANOTHER FAVORITE STEAKHOUSE RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER. SLEEP MOMENTARILY BECKONED, BUT THERE WERE MORE TASTES TO BE SAVORED AND MORE HOMELESS TO BE FED, BESIDES, ALL THAT WALKING HAD MADE ME HUNGRY.
THIS IS JOHN CURTAS