Life’s a griddle at the island-styled Cinnamon’s, where there’s a cool hotcake for every taste
Open on interior of Cinnamon’s Las Vegas, a newish Hawaiian-style casual eatery at Buffalo and Washington.
Waitress: Are you going to do the full or the half-order of the Kalua Pig?
Scott: (apparently offended by the very idea of a “half order”) Oh, the full order.
Andrew: Could I try one guava chiffon pancake and one pistachio pancake?
Andrew: My pancreas is salivating insulin in anticipation!
Andrew: I’m not a big breakfast person. I usually just have a functional, soylent-like smoothie, with green stuff in it. So this will be an indulgence. Are you a big pancake person?
Scott: Not really. Their doughy richness gets to me pretty quickly. At some of these fancy-pancake places, it seems almost like it’s a reframing of dessert as breakfast.
Andrew: Pancakes always sound good on the menu, but when you eat them, it’s like a syrup-saturated Ace bandage.
(As vaguely islandish music plays overhead, the food arrives. First up, the Kalua Pig, a pair of small shredded-pork heaps in a traditional eggs Benedict setup.)
Andrew: (chew-murmuring — chewmuring?) Oh, my God. That’s good. Salty, shredded pork. Eggy, bready goodness. See, our instincts are telling us to eat the savory first, because we are unconsciously registering this (gestures at pancakes).
Andrew: There’s something satisfying when you spear a chunk of egg and bread and it hangs off your fork like you tore it off an animal that you hunted down. Primal!
Waitress: (sidling up.) So, what do we think?
Andrew: Great so far! We’re working up to the pancakes as the grand finale.
(Bob Marley comes on the sound system to tell us he hopes we like jammin’, too.)
Andrew: (trying some kimchi fried rice) Pretty good! But I’m going to hit it with some hot sauce, hashtag dontjudgeme.
Scott: I won’t unless you put it on the pancakes. I might get a little judgey then.
Andrew: Mmm, not bad. I almost want a little more kimchi pop. This is more like a strongly worded letter suggesting kimchi.
(Guava Chiffon pancake time!)
Andrew: Let’s just look at this in all its glistening, diabetic glory! Now, I’m gonna shove this in my face. (Shoves.) Mmm ... oh! (chewmuring indicating joy) ...
Bob Marley: We’re jammin’, we’re jammin’, and I hope this jam is gonna last ...
Andrew: It’s like a vending machine of candy dumping into my mouth hole — that’s a good thing. This is a gooey, sinful, indulgent pancake.
Scott: Very good. And we should note, for journalistic purposes, that it’s the size of a Fiat hubcap.
Andrew: Do you like how I hold it over my hand, let the sauce drip, then lick my hand after I eat the pancake?
Scott: Yes. That definitely needs to be noted in the story. For the public good.
(Pistachio Crème pancake time!)
Andrew: The guava chiffon had a lot of sensory things going on because it was positively swimming in its own juices.
Scott: This is a more minimalist
experience. (Basically, it’s a pancake piped with ribbons of pistachio frosting.)
Andrew: It almost presents more as a piece of cake.
Scott: In fact, it begs the question of whether we should put syrup on it. I’m going to try it like this. (Chewing) It doesn’t have a typical pancake experience. More like a pastry. But I like it without syrup.
Andrew: God, I can feel the diabetes! My inner Wilford Brimley!
Bob Marley: I hope you like jammin’, I wanna jam it with you ...
Andrew: Let’s take it to the next level: I’m gonna put a little syrup on it ...
Scott: It can’t be said we won’t push the envelope for the sake of journalism.
Andrew: Maple-pistachio-pancakio explosion!
Scott: Seems like it would be too much.
Andrew: I like it with syrup.
Scott: Is that because the presence of syrup appeals to some platonic ideal of a pancake?
Andrew: Yeah. Puts it more into a breakfast context. But the flavors actually complement each other.
Bob Marley: We’re jammin’, were jammin’ ...
Andrew: Okay, watch this. I’m putting a little syrup on the pistachio ...
Waitress: (sidling up.) Okay, be brutally honest.
Andrew: Oh, it’s excellent. But now watch this: I’m going to cross the streams. (Dips syrup-soaked pistachio pancake into the guava sauce. He’s out of control!) You might wanna call security!
(He eats it. Sound of envelope once again being pushed for the sake of journalism.)
Andrew: Oh, my God — it’s like a Skittles commercial in my mouth!
Waitress: That’s the best description I’ve ever heard.
Andrew: So, which did you like better, the pistachio or the guava?
Scott: Pistachio. But I could eat more of the guava — the tang of the guava cuts through the doughiness of the pancake.
Andrew: I liked the guava better; the mush factor. (Groans.) But I can feel myself starting to get dizzy ... double vision ...
Bob Marley: You guys gonna finish that rice?
Cinnamon’s Las Vegas
7591 W. Washington Ave. #110