18 signs you’re in an alternate universe Las Vegas
- The Strip is at Lamb and Nellis
- School system is only fourth worst in nation
- Frenchman’s Mountain made of actual Frenchmen
- Parking pays you
- Brandon Flowers occurs as both wave and particle
- Downtown imposes martial law on beard lengths
- Las Vegas Monorail routinely makes Kessel run in 11.9 parsecs
- Famous welcome sign reads, “Ahoy, sexy!”
- An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of Dave Courvosier
- Mayor replaced by GIF of ribbon-cuttings
- “Adelson whisperer” now state’s fastest-growing job category
- The Mobb Deep Museum
- “Giunchigliani” pronounced “Smith”
- Legislature replaced by “political residencies”
- Robin Leach is least-popular candle scent
- Orange cones fix roads
- Harry Reid is the wiliest, most powerful bellhop on the Strip
- Common Millennial catchphrase is, “Whatever, Trevor Sweatherweather!”