For many of us, our parents freely gave love, shelter, support and taught us life’s lessons as we grew. Those parents were our heroes.
So it can be hard to take when the tables turn. When the nurturers become those who need our help.
As Baby Boomers age, more adult children than ever will become their parents’ primary caregivers. And that can lead to some very emotional decisions that can wreak havoc on family dynamics and financial health.
In Las Vegas, you can add another layer of difficulty: senior citizens move here to retire, sometimes far from supportive families.
Abbie Kirkendall, an assistant professor at the School of Social Work at UNLV, told KNPR’s State of Nevada that is a need that has to be filled in Southern Nevada.
“What we need to do more of in Southern Nevada is to development more community services to be able to support these individuals,” Kirkendall said.
According to the Department of Health and Human Services, there were 39.6 million people over the age of 65 in 2009, the latest year for which data is available, and by 2030, there will be 72.1 million people in that age category.
Kirkendall said that a decline of a parent’s health doesn’t happen all at once, instead it can be a slow and stressful process.
8 News Now Weather Anchor Sherry Swensk has a personal understanding of what can happen when a parent becomes ill. Her mother has Alzheimer’s disease and the type she has impacts motor function.
Swensk said that over time her mother showed more and more signs of confusion and at one point became unable to walk or care for herself. The effort of caring for her mother put stress on her and her family.
“All the other things in life that demand your time and your attention and your emotions and your abilities and all those get compromised because all your attention goes to your loved one who you’re trying to care for who can’t help themselves,” Swensk said.
The care for her mother also cost a great deal of money. Eventually, Swensk made the difficult choice to put her mother into memory care.
“It’s guilt. It’s huge guilt,” Swensk said.
She said there are still difficult days, but she is grateful for every day she gets with her mother.
Cynthia Mora is a family care consultant for the Alzheimer’s Association. She said many people she talks with are overwhelmed with the stress of caring for someone. She said it is important to discuss what is ahead and be prepared financially and legally.
On the financial side, there are resources that can help people pay for care depending on what kind of care is needed and legally it can be important to get the power of attorney to sign legal documents when a parent cannot.
“It’s overwhelming. It’s very, very stressful to try to take care of mom and dad and financially support yourself,” Kirkendall said.
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Abbie Kirkendall, assistant professor, School of Social Work, UNLV; Sherry Swensk, weather anchor, KLAS-TV Channel 8; Cynthia Mora, family care consultant, Alzheimer’s Association