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Fat Hits the Fire

Mickey D’s Deserves a Break Today

McDonald’s has this American pretty cheesed off. But its not what you think. Actually I’ve started to feel sorry for the corporate behemoth…all because of a lawsuit that points out the absurdity of our behavior when it comes to what we eat.

It all started in Seattle—the politically obnoxious capital of America—where a ten million dollar class action settlement was just reached between the Big Mac Daddy and certain…uh uhmmmmm, how do you politely say: small minded, self-centered, overbearing health zealots…who sued over the lack of corporate candor about a tiny amount of beef flavoring additives used to make those pommes frites so tasty…a flavor fact that even Julia Child agrees with.

Now it’s well known that for decades, McDonalds fries were great precisely because they were fried in beef tallow. An early backlash against this flavorful ingredient led to its elimination over twenty years ago. But those scheming folks under the golden arches found an alternative to this horrific practice—by using certain beef extracts in its vegetable oil…a practice that really offended the self-righteous wheat germ reactionaries—who were outraged that they had been misled and manipulated by Ronald and is smarmy ilk. These poor victims said they felt violated by this false advertising…and were shocked, SHOCKED by a hamburger stand that had the audacity to use a beef product in its food.

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Now I ask you…as a matter of common sense, isn’t there a certain suspension of disbelief accompanying every decision to pull into any fast food drive through to get yourself super sized into sodium bliss? Most of us take this for granted. But NOOOOO, the food fascists won’t let it rest at that. They’re on this earth to impose their values when anyone is eating anything they don’t approve of. And they had this corporate giant cowering at its underhanded attempt to pawn off flavorful fries as vegetarian when, in fact, they weren’t. But I say get over yourselves-you soybean solipsists if you want to know exactly what’s in your food…stay home, eat at home, and give me…and Mickey D’s a break…

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Thursday, March 28, 2002
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