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Las Vegas Lite (crowd noise) Here we are Algie at the annual restaurant awards bestowed by Las Vegas Lit magazine. This year our panel of experts…or is editors?….have bent over backwards to kiss more aaas….. Algie: now John… John: ufff…what I mean is…this year they’ll be more awards than ever. And Algie just look at the crowd. Anyone who is anyone, who needs pandering to, is here… Algie: Well—all I know John is the atmosphere is as thick as Emeril’s béarnaise, as restaurants from Pierto Bomboloni to Rutger Pudge hobnob with the publishers who make them famous. John: Boy—you’ve got the right. Journalism be damned is the evening’s theme—so let’s watch the mutual back scratching begin. Algie: our first category is …BEST RESTAURANT IN A HOTEL THAT ADVERTISES A LOT. And the winner is…..Rembrandt (applause applause) John: Wow Tim it just goes to show you that these judges know what side their bread’s buttered on…. Algie: the next category is: SMARMIEST MAITRE’D…and the winner is Vincenzo Flagrante. (more applause) John: No doubt about it Algie, if your own a magazine and need a table, en flagro flagrante is where you want to be… Housetrained as a lapdog to Hollywood’s celebrity elite, Flagrante now fawns over Vegas’ Grand Dames at Vincenzo’s in the Mega-Milanese Convention Center. Algie: For our Final award we have the most important category of all (drum roll)…….BEST MEDICRE FRENCH RESTAURANT….. AND THE WINNER IS…..The Obnoxious Frog (huge applause). John: Holy Mackerel….the crowd’s going wild---probably because none of them have ever paid for a meal there. This Bantam Rooster keeps on crowing when true Francophiles think it should’ve croaked long ago. Like I always say: never underestimate the power of having high friends with low standards. This Award show has been brought to you by Las Vegas Lite Magazine, where our motto is: “sucking up an dumbing down, since 1997.”

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