EATING IS LIKE SEX
EATING IS LIKE SEX. YOU CAN DO IT TO SATISFY AN URGE OR YOU CAN INDULGE YOURSELF AS A FORM OF ART.
WHEN YOU EAT IN 13 OF FRANCE’S 20 GREATEST RESTAURANTS IN 12 DAYS, NEITHER DESCRIPTION APPLIES. THEN IT IS EITHER A CIBERITIC-ORGYASTIC FEEDING FRENZY OR SERIOUS RESEARCH. I PREFER THE LATTER TITLE. MORE DIGNIFIED, PROFESSORIAL REALLY—EVEN SCIENTIFIC, WOULDN’T YOU AGREE? MOST PEOPLE FEEL LUCKY TO SAMPLE EVEN ONE OR TWO GREAT RESTAURANTS IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY WHEN THEY VISIT AND THE LAST TIME I WAS IN FRANCE THAT’S ALL I DID. BUT THAT WAS A MERE APPRENTICESHIP COMPARED TO THE PAST TWO WEEKS. THE BRIGHTEST STARS IN THE RESTAURANT UNIVERSE WERE BEFORE ME AND I WAS COMPELLED BY CURIOSITY AND APPETITE TO VISIT EVERY ONE. THIS WAS BIG-LEAGUE DINING AT ITS BEST. THESIS RESEARCH FROM MY DOCTORATE IN DIETARY EXCELLENCE—THE HIGHEST OF HAUTE CUISINE—OR AS I PREFER TO REFER TO IT TO THOSE SNOOTY PARISIAN MAITRE ‘D’S—THE BIG ENCHILADA. NOT THAT IT WAS EASY—SERIOUS STUDYING NEVER IS—DON’T LAUGH, YOU TRY EATING A 7 COURSE DINNER AT LUCAS-CARTON, THEN DINING AT THE RITZ FOR LUNCH THE NEXT DAY, THEN DINING AT ALAIN DUCASSE FOR A 3 HOUR LUNCH THE FOLLOWING NOON FOLLOWED BY YET ANOTHER 4 HOUR, 5,000 CALORIE REPAST LESS THAN 24 HOURS LATER AND SEE HOW YOUR GASTROINTESTINAL TRACT WITHSTANDS IT. THE SCHEDULE I WAS ON WOULD HAVE BEEN A CULINARY WORLD CUP EVEN IF MUNG BEANS AND TOFU WERE THE PRIMARY INGREDIENTS BEING INGESTED.